And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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