Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She's the barista slut.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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