I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
