I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
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He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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