stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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