after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize