Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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