I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i barfeds in our rink
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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