Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
