Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
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I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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