He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just puked most of my soul out..
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
