Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
