Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
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Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
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The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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