Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so explain again why im purple
no
Sponge bath it is.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
