and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
my mouth tastes like poor choices
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
