mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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