I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
