I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
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