she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
a search helicopter?!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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