the condom got lost in my hair
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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