That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
