return my video game
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
