You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
