Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
