Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
