areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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