You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
