Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize