I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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