Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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