I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.