best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy