She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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