I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
