Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (224): bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh. http://tfl.nu/hyh0
  Replies (5) Good night (4318) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign. http://tfl.nu/igif
  Replies (14) Good night (947) Bad night (3071)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job. http://tfl.nu/u3yp
  Replies (15) Good night (4370) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans. http://tfl.nu/8mn2
  Replies (13) Good night (4628) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.

  (214): View more from Texas

  Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.

  (817): View more from Texas

  You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): They asked me to help them shop for lingerie. (214): Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better. (817): You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for. http://tfl.nu/hqk4
  Replies (35) Good night (10496) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels? http://tfl.nu/vpae
  Replies (12) Good night (1210) Bad night (3921)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction? http://tfl.nu/asxf
  Replies (17) Good night (851) Bad night (5036)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours http://tfl.nu/otx8
  Replies (8) Good night (3268) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates http://tfl.nu/kad8
  Replies (11) Good night (411) Bad night (1702)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits. http://tfl.nu/xhq2
  Replies (1) Good night (689) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED http://tfl.nu/76ld
  Replies (5) Good night (524) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong http://tfl.nu/enrc
  Replies (4) Good night (683) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool http://tfl.nu/mskr
  Replies (4) Good night (277) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe. http://tfl.nu/iy8l
  Replies (7) Good night (1219) Bad night (261)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation http://tfl.nu/yqvf
  Replies (1) Good night (804) Bad night (225)

Randomize