would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize