Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize