Umm I'm too high to move.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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