hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
