Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
