I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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