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• (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm on that like soy sauce on rice

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.

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• (325): View more from Texas

  My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  He can pick locks you know

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  That's the reason for the naked stripper

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• (512): View more from Texas

  So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control

  (737): View more from Texas

  we are the apple cider girls!

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• (209): View more from California

  ... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul

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• (407): View more from Florida

  I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.

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