I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE