I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
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THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
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i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD