I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
