i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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