he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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