Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
