Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
