your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
