"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's blow job season.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
