I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
