He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
