plz talk dirty to me
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
