john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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