i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
