Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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