Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
