Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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