Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
