I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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