Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
