Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
