I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
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