There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
